fade up of Bitm assignment

Yesterday, I called my course mate to ask something about assignment. Actually I know how to do it but I worry I am in the wrong track. So that, I called to make sure and ask how to define maintenance of web site design. But then I can’t really get what he meant and he keeps on asking me check dictionary or defines it on Google. (I told him I can’t online at home) argh!!! I swear I will not ever ask him something else again! I will be independent. I don’t want to ask help from somebody else again except lecturer. I want to work hard and dependent on myself only. If I am able to do that, I will try my best to help others. Because I know the feeling of totally blur. I really don’t like this kind of feeling. Why am I so stupid? I really angry with myself. Everyone is studying the same thing and yet a lot of people understand well except me. When only I can catch up the entire thing? I don’t want ask help from someone else again!!!! Can I do that? Whatever~ I will not give up!!!!